My ex-husband, during our separation while we were discussing our problems, sent me an email list of things he wanted in a wife. (Mind you, we’d been married for 20 years and he was fine with me until he cheated on me with his employee.) His list was a nitpicking of my personality and character, none of which were true. He was just trying to make me into the woman-child he was seeing behind my back. I countered it with a list of things I want in a husband, and I let him have it. Gone was the nice, compliant wife he’d known. That was the end for me. I cut him loose and took three years off from relationships. Now I am happily attached to my darling boyfriend of 11 years. Life is soooo much better after cutting ties with a gaslighting narcissist.